This Thing Called Faith . . .

So, my whole week has seemingly revolved around one word: F A I T H. Everything I've read, studied, listened to, even sung about—there it is: Faith. Not just "faith" in general, mind you; but MY faith. Or better stated . . . my lack of. So often, I link my faith with just how much I am trusting God to do this for me, or take care of that for me. Hard to admit, but I've even found that I've trusted Him so much more with something that I've asked of Him for someone else. I know it might sound crazy, but I'm just keeping it real tonight.

This morning, I began putting ink to some things about my faith that the Holy Spirit was speaking to my heart. I've pondered this stuff all day. In the midst of working, my heart was stirring. As I faced a big fear head on this afternoon, the whole subject of my [lack of faith] was heavy on my heart. Can I just tell you that I want faith with substance? Not just faith of a mustard seed—but say to this mountain, "move" and it will be done kind of faith?

I want faith . . .
that doesn't waiver in the waiting
that doesn't plummet under pressure
that stands when it would be easier to sit
that doesn't doubt in the midst of disappointment

Did I mention that I long for faith that doesn't doubt in the midst of disappointment?

I want faith . . .
that turns away in the midst of temptation
that stays calm in a season of chaotic
that refuses to ignore conviction
that speaks the truth when it would be more popular to be quiet

I want faith . . .
that leads me to give when everything within me screams get

I want faith . . .
that is unmoved by the unknown
that willingly denies self in exchange for our Savior
that trusts in the promise of God's perfect timing
that is solid when God's voice is silent

I want faith . . .
that truly forgives when my flesh can't seem to forget

I share a father's expression that is found in Mark 9:24: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." I love the Living Bible translation:  “I do have faith; oh, help me to have more!”