Regret is a powerful thing. If you get to know someone well enough, you'll probably hear them share, at some point, something they've regretted about their life. I can't tell you how many times I thought about how much I regret that I never went to college. You've heard folks tell of their own regrets and my guess is that you've got a few of your own.
But how about the things that you won't regret? Earlier tonight as I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the shower floor with a toothbrush, I thought to myself, "You won't regret doing this." It's amazing how that prompted so much within my heart. So that I'm not dwelling on the negative list of things I will regret, here's some things that I won't:
I won't regret loving and being married to the same man all my life and being his wife.
I won't regret being a stay at home Mom until my girls got to be in the later years of elementary school. I won't regret picking them up from school and getting to hear all about their day.
I won't regret loving them, investing in their lives and missing them when they moved out and began lives of their own.
I won't regret raising them in the church and living a life that showed them I loved and lived committed to Christ and wanted the same for them.
I won't regret the money I invested in braces, cheerleading, softball, mission trips, summer camps, cars, college and weddings for my girls.
I won't regret the times I surprised them with those expensive Gap pants.
I won't regret praying for their husbands long before they were actually married.
I won't regret all the dinners together and the times when we just got to sit back and enjoy their company.
I won't regret being crazy over my grandson ... and future grandkids. I won't regret smooching, romping, playing, reading, swinging and praying with them.
I won't regret being physically active and doing all I can to be healthy and strong.
I won't regret teaching God's Word, discipling people in their walk with Christ or sitting and listening to those who were broken and hurting.
I won't regret going the extra mile.
I won't regret giving someone a second chance.
I won't regret forgiving someone who hurt me deeply, even if they didn't ask to be forgiven.
I won't regret taking vitamins every day.
I won't regret the road trips to see my family.
I won't regret the times I sacrificed something for myself in order to give to someone else.
I won't regret keeping my mouth shut.
I won't regret serving with all that is within me.
I won't regret obeying the Lord and following where He led me, even when others thought I was crazy.
I won't regret loving and serving the people of Honduras.
I won't regret the times I said I'm so sorry.
I won't regret standing for what is right.
I won't regret being a loyal wife, mom, friend and employee.
I won't regret doing the hard thing, especially when it cost me something.
I won't regret countless hours visiting my Nana at the nursing home and doing her nails each week.
I won't regret going to my nephews graduation.
I won't regret taking a train ride with a dear friend in the fall and marveling at the beauty of God's creation.
I won't regret splurging and eating a McDonald's ice cream cone.
And one thing I'm confident I will never ever regret and that's surrendering my life - past, present, future and eternity to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
How about you? What's something that you won't ever regret?
You have to know that I love animals and would not purposefully kill something for absolutely anything. Seriously. I'm by no means a vegetarian, so don't go there. I'm talking about killing something just for the sake of killing it. Something wrong with that grid, sorry.
So, anyway, yesterday as I was coming home from work this red cardinal literally dove in front of my car. As I squinted and looked in the rear view mirror, I saw it flipping on the road so I knew that I did hit it. It killed my heart. I was so sad and I thought about it for a long time. Did it suffer? What was it thinking? Did it have family? Would someone miss it when it didn't return to the nest? Call me crazy if you want, but I do think about things like that. Just ask my daughters about the time the bunny got hit on their way to school when they were way little.
The story turns a bit crazy when I tell you that driving to work this morning buzzing up the Interstate that out of nowhere ANOTHER RED CARDINAL slams into the front of my car. As I peeked and looked in the rear view mirror, I saw nothing. Did it make it? Did it fly away? Even though I felt pretty confident that it was injured (injured bad) I was marginally hopeful that it flew off.
It wasn't until I got home this afternoon, saw the blood and feathers on the front of the car that I realized it didn't make it but rather went under the front grill and was actually still there. Dead but still there.
And if seeing it with my own eyes wasn't enough, the visual that Ashley gave me of what this poor bird looked like did indeed confirm that it was a goner. Knox and Ashley told me that red cardinals were a sign of good luck. I'm thinking, "Would that be before or after I hit them? And if they're good luck and I killed two of them, now what? Not good."
Knowing that I killed two birds in two days does not sit well with me. And of course, this mind goes mach 100 with all those crazy questions. To top it off, I found this tidbit of information on line which makes the whole thing worse: "Cardinals mate for life. Chances are, when you see one, you'll see the other." So now I've killed two birds who DID have mates.
Whether it's "killing two birds with one stone" or hitting two birds with one car (smile), the remains of that bird is still under the grill and the tragedy that I'm the one who killed it is fresh on my heart. I'm so sorry little birds.
Every single day is God's gift to us, to be used for the good of others and His glory alone. I wish I could say I was victorious with each day I've been given, but if you visit often you'll see that I'm just an ordinary woman, living life, loving the Lord and her family, staying on the journey and longing to make a difference every step of the way!