Girls, Girls, Girls ...

One of my favorite authors penned a powerful book a few years ago titled Big Girls Don't Whine. It's not one of those "make you feel good" kind of books but it certainly packs a punch on what little girl behavior looks like in the lives of what should be grown up girls. We can never assume that because someone is aging [in years] that they are maturing. The two should go hand in hand—but unfortunately, that's not always the case.

In case you aren't sure [code for self-evaluation time] if you might be tipping the scale toward little girl behavior, here's a few clues:

1) You get mad, pout or get your feelings hurt if you weren't included in everything that everyone is doing. Not even realistic, but yet ... it fits you to a "t."

2) You think that the world functions on your time schedule and that life really is all about you.

3) Your expectations of people are so unrealistic that no matter how hard they might try, it's just never good enough.

4) You twist the truth, manipulate (including people) circumstances or attempt to control the situation.

5) Did I mention that you MUST be in control? No one else can do it right, anyway.

6) Everyone fails you.

7) You do whatever it takes to get attention—and if folks do not respond to your pettiness or whining, you turn it around and make them out to be the bad guy.

8) You need everyone to like you. So, in your effort to be "all things to all people" you tell them what you think they want to hear. Even if it means lying or "stretching the truth" just a bit.

The Apostle Paul says it best: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." - 1 Cor. 13:11

I want to be a bonafide big girl, don't you? No little girl games. No little girl behavior. Grown-up, godly, gracious, fun-loving, living life and honoring God kind of big girl.

So Long, Insecurity ...

... you have been a bad friend to us. Bad friend.

So, yesterday I spent the day with 300,000 insecure women (via local and satellite locations) and a handful of some pretty secure men (smile) at the "So Long, Insecurity" conference in Atlanta with Beth Moore. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "No one lays the out the Truth quite like Beth."

Just in case you missed the event and haven't bought the book yet, I feel a huge obligation to share with you some of the power punches that were shared:

- God doesn't force security on any of us.

- Anytime we need freedom from an area of insecurity, it's us and God.

- I have absolutely nothing to gain from my insecurity. Nothing good comes from it.

- Insecurity is not weakness ... it's unbelief.

Beth's texts for both sessions camped mainly in Ephesians 4:17-24. Take time to read those because it really affirms the points she makes.

- As Christians, we are supposed to be the poster children of "before and after."

- Victory or defeat resides in the mind.

Using the word secure, listen to these six statements that describe a secure woman:

S - She is saved from herself. The absolute biggest enemy we girls (and men, too) face in dealing with our insecurities is our self.

E - She is entitled to truth: God's Word is alive and active and we are given every opportunity in which to know the truth. It is the truth (and only the truth) that sets us free (John 8:32). God wants us to know the truth. He died to set us free, and that comes by knowing the truth. Think about it: How many lies have you believed over the course of your life and how have they worked for you?

C - She is clothed with intention: We've got to be women "on purpose." Nothing good from our lives just happens. We must be focused. Fixed. Prepared. Ready. Resolved. Intentional in knowing, living and walking this thing out with the Lord.

"When you give yourself fully to the Lord Jesus you just never know where you're going to end up."

"You cannot wait until you feel secure to believe in the security that we have in Christ Jesus."

"When you want to act like an idiot, that is the time to ask yourself, 'How would a secure woman respond to this?' "

"Secure people don't have to think of themselves all the time."

U - She is upended by grace: It's pretty much guaranteed that when our insecurities "rear their ugly head" we will turn the thing over onto ourselves. It becomes all about us. How we feel. How we were offended. How we were slighted ... or overlooked. The secure woman is able to turn her insecurity into an opportunity to extend grace. Why? Because it's no longer about her, but about her Savior. She may not be confident in herself, but she is completely confident in His love and grace. When we have been graced by God, we are free to grace others.

R - She is rebounded by love: Everything comes back to love. (Read 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13)
Love covers a multitude of sins. Without love, we are nothing and will never have even the slightest hope of becoming anything. And the deal breaker is that we will never be able to offer genuine love until we have accepted it and are willing to continually receive it from God.

"You will never be one iota secure until you are completely convinced that God loves you."

E - She is exceptional in life: God wants us to "stick out like a healing thumb." Not a perfect life, ladies. Not a sick, twisted, manipulating, game-playing, all about me life. Not someone who "sticks out like a sore thumb" because of "US" but someone who stands out [set-apart] because of her love and commitment to Christ and her desire to live the thing out.

All the ladies in the office gossip and talk bad about each other: Well, except her.

Everyone seems to be buying into the culture's standard of beauty: Well, except her.

I want to be an "except her" kind of woman, don't you?

This is not easy stuff, girls. We all know the areas where insecurity has caused us to limp, at best. For others, our insecurities have been such a way of life that we only know defeat ... and to be quite honest, maybe even grown "secure" in our insecurities. Help us, Lord.

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? (Isaiah 43:18-19a)

So long, Insecurity. You've been a bad friend to me. Rotten friend. I never want to see you again, kind of friend.

In the Blink of An Eye

For some reason, I'm very sensitive to time right now. It could be the reality of me (as my sister would say) flirting with 50. Could be that many things in my life have changed and I would have never guessed that six months ago things would be as they are. It could be that there is even more change on the radar screen. So, with that said ... it seems my heart is on "high alert" to the fact that life is not only ticking on but seems to be flying by.

I mean, seriously? When did my little girls grow up, become married and one with child, no less? And when did most of our nieces turn 30? When did my Mom cross the milestone of 80? How could it be that we have moved umpteen times over the years and now, aiming to do it again? I am amazed at how quickly time seems to pass and even more quickly how things change. Things that I thought were ... are not. Things that I hoped for ... haven't panned out. Situations that seemed far off ... are now here. Guess we should never get too comfortable in where we are in this life journey—because things could surely change. I'm so thankful that even though life changes "in the blink of an eye" that He is the Lord God who does not change. (Malachi 3:6)

I love these lyrics from Mercy Me's new song:

In a blink of an eye that is when
I'll be closer to You than I've ever been
Time will fly, but until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye

Embrace the day, friends, but don't hold it too tightly ...

It just might change.

In the blink of an eye.

Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom

When I was a little girl, I remember my Mom having this prayer on her bedside table. To be honest, I had no earthly idea what it meant—I only remember that it was there. I find tremendous comfort today in knowing that she knew what it meant.

The "Serenity Prayer" goes like this:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." --Reinhold Niebuhr

I love that prayer.

Have you figured out yet that in this life, there are limits to what you can change? I mean, seriously? There is much is this life that we can't change, hard as we might try. Number one being the fact that we simply can't change people. There is truly only One who can change someone. Takes tremendous pressure off, if you think about it, to not have to even try.

Then there's the "courage to change the things I can." What I continue to learn is that most areas where God is showing me that change is needed—it's tremendously hard work. The best news I know is that He promises that His strength is made perfect in my weakness so where I know change must come, I can rely on His power to do it ... in and through me.

Awwwww, then there's "wisdom to know the difference." It takes a smart big girl to know her limits. To accept some things ... just as they are. To walk with courage and begin tackling the things where she knows change MUST happen. Wisdom to know when to speak ... when to be quiet. Wisdom to know when to step up ... wisdom to know when to sit down. Acceptance. Courage. Wisdom. There is a sweet place of balance in our lives when we come to a place of rest in all three.

Is there something you need to accept today? Maybe you need to let go of "trying" to make something happen? Cease trying to shove a door open and let God be God, doing what only He can?

Do you need to tighten your belt buckle of courage, stand tall and confident, and step toward change in an area where you know that you will have to totally rely on Him to help you pull it off?

How about just plain ole' wisdom? Do you need God's perspective to help you either let go or hold on? Somewhere in the midst of letting go or holding on—you will find Him there.

God helps us to accept what we can't change.
He gives us courage (and power) to change what we can.
He pours out wisdom so that as we seek His heart, we will know the difference.

The Longest Mile

As I was looking back at my inactive blog I realized I had begun a post last August but never finished it. As I sat here reading I nearly deleted it but feel as if the Lord would want me to go ahead and post it. I continue to learn that our transparency as Christ-followers is not only refreshing, but encouraging. There's nothing fake or phony about what you are about to read. It's the journey of then ... and when you get to the end, I'll bring you to now.

If you know me very well at all, you know that I absolutely LOVE to exercise. One of my favorite things in the world is to power walk with either one of my besties, or my daughters. This summer the heat has been beyond HOT, so needless to say that last mile is by far the longest.

You may (or may not) have noticed that I haven't blogged in nearly four months. I have felt like this past season of my life has been the longest EVER. Not that it's over, by any stretch of the means, but there is a heaviness that has been lifted and the freeze I've felt from expressing my heart on this site has been overtaken by a sweet desire to let some of this out.

I'm liable to start squalling at any minute ... so it's a rather good thing that you're on the other side and can't see my tears. The past week or so, I've had more than my fair share of outbursts of what I call "the ugly cry." But I've also learned that tears are a good thing (Jesus wept for crying out loud) and there is tremendous healing in allowing the pain the is felt within the heart to be poured out.

I don't want, or need to give you details of where I've been, all that I've been walking through and the many ways I've seen my faith be tested -- but what I will tell you is even through this painfully hard season of surrender and letting go, I have found Jesus Christ to be nothing but faithful.

And let me mention tender. On Saturday, I realized that for the first time in 20 years as a Follower-of-Christ that I was actually angry at God. Now don't fall off your chair and scream "blasphemy." I was angry at man ... and as I allowed myself to get real with the woman in the mirror, I also acknowledged that I was marginally angry at God. Okay, I was full-blown MAD at Him. As I beat my hands into the carpet and sobbed before Him, I literally felt Him hold me and tell me that He understood. Most High God, Creator of heaven and earth, okay with me, His child ... being so angry over His decision that surely wasn't mine.

If you're reading this, you are just going to have to trust me when I say that I'm not quite there yet, but I'm wrestling this thing through with Him so that eventually, I can rest in Him. I trust His heart. I believe He is good. I know Him well enough to know that He is working ... even though I can't see.

Several years ago while participating in Beth Moore's "Believing God" Bible study, I learned some of the most powerful statements of faith. I want to close with where I'm standing firm:

God is who He says He is.

God can do what He says He can do.

I am who God says I am.

I can do all things through Christ.

God's Word is alive and active in me.

I'm believing God.

Life is a journey, friends. It's up and it's down. It's the good, the bad ... and the ugly. It's seasons of sweet victory and it's seasons of potential defeat (thanks, Satan). But this I know for sure: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Six months have passed since I put ink (or keys) to what was stirring in my heart. What an incredible journey it's been. God's taken away ... and He's given. He's brought change. He's made new assignments. He's blessed. He's also chiseled and sanded - beyond painful at times. The past six months have felt like the very last mile on a blistery-hot day. The pain from some wounds cut deep. The doubts and, yes, even fear that closed in at times made me question many things. But God remains God. Faithful, loving, tender, merciful God. Fully aware of where I've been, and even more aware of where I'm headed.

The lessons learned during this time, both about self ... man and God have been many. What a work in progress I am. So far to go. But this one thing I know: I will go. I will not quit. I refuse to give the enemy the pleasure of knowing that in the midst of his havoc, that he won. I am more than a conqueror because of Christ Jesus. I will no longer put my eyes on man, but on God. I am resolved, that no matter what, I will serve Him with my whole heart. Wherever He leads me, for how long He leaves me. I will serve Him.

Life is all about seasons, friend. So whether you've got one mile left in front of you or 100, grab His hand and go for it. You may not have any idea what's ahead or around the bend ... but He does. Hold on tight for the journey and trust Him every step of the way. And don't forget the water. You'll need lots of water!

Today is the Day ...

If you're like me, time ticks by too quickly and the turn of the calendar from month to month happens in the blink of an eye. We aren't aware of time, though, until we "think" it stands still. For most of us, we live life going about our daily routines and attempting to accomplish all that we've piled on our plates. Until something is thrown on the calendar that causes us to unplug from what we consider the norm, I don't think we pay much attention to this thing called time.

Here's a few facts about time:

1) We are all given 24 hours in one day. Although many of us (self included) try and cram a few extra hours in there ... time has been set and we are each given 24 hours before a new day dawns. Time zones don't change this fact. There are 24 hours in one day. No more, no less.

2) Time never stops. Even though circumstances cause our lives to "stand still" or unplug from our normal routines or situations, time does keeps on ticking.

3) Our priorities dictate what we do with the 24 hours in each day that we are given.

Case in point:

Sleep is not a huge priority for me. If I get 6 solid hours a night, I am good to go. For others, they will swap hours with something less important so they can catch more Z's. Exercise is VERY important, so I'll give up TV time in order to make time for it. Time with family is huge to me ... so I'm willing to sacrifice "self" time in order to spend time with loved ones. What we do with our day speaks volumes about who we are and what is important to our lives. There will be times in our lives when our priorities suddenly change, and times when what we thought mattered, matters not. Life is funny that way.

King Solomon spoke specifically of this mystery called time in the book of Ecclesiastes. I especially love the New Living Translation of Chapter Three, verses 1-8:

There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time for harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrance and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to lose.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

I've learned a good lesson recently about the importance of time and making it count. I've learned that giving up my time for the sake and good of someone else really is worth something. I've learned through the loss of a loved one that yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't promised and that I only have today and that God wants me to make today count.

Friends, we have 24 hours in this day. What will we do with the time given to us? We can't steal time from what's already ticked by and we can't borrow time from what hasn't been given to us yet. We have today ... we have this moment in time to make it count.

"God has made everything beautiful for its own time." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

The Sting

Okay, so I know you're wondering what in the heck I'm doing with a picture of a wasp on my blog and why would I bother to write a whole entry based on these scary insects, right?

Well, truth of the matter is ... I'm scared to death of them. Seriously. As far back as I can remember, I have always feared them. Maybe it's the big bulging eyes, or the long dangling legs OR the fact those legs stick to whatever they land on. It could be the loud buzzing noise they make when they are coming in for a landing or just doing a fly-by. And since I know their sting is worse than their song, I just steer clear of them at all costs. As a matter of fact, I can vividly remember running away from the swingset when my daughter was about two years old (sorry, Ashley), leaving her to fend for herself. I was a horrible mother.

As much as I love spring, what it brings with it is a fresh batch of wasps who have been couped up all winter long just waiting to get out there and scare the heck out of folks. I think wasps are like horses, too. They know when we are afraid. I think they laugh their heads off when we run (okay, when I run) and swing my arms and scream. Whoever said, "Just be still and they won't bother you" has totally lost their mind. Trust me ... they WILL bother you. There were created to bother us.

Just today, I had so much "conflict" with wasps. They were everywhere. Maybe I'm just more sensitive to them right now, but I swear ... no matter where I went or what I did, a wasp was flying by or hovering around and it was a solid reminder how something so small, has the potential to not only hurt so bad, but have a huge impact on how I live. Sitting in the yard, I ended up going inside until it moved away from my chair. As I walked, I began to RUN in order to get away from one. I couldn't get my car windows up fast enough as I waited in traffic and saw one buzzing the car in front of me. Ridiculous, I know ... but true.

I think there are some big spiritual parallels to this as well ... but I'll save that for another blog.

Bottom line: I hate wasps. I hate that I'm afraid of them. But I've got my can of Raid and I'm determined to face them head on. And if one lands on me and I die of a heart attack before it stings me, you have a good laugh at my funeral, okay?